Finding long lost Dubrow's relatives

Have I told you the story of how I discovered a cousin lived a mile away from me, but we never knew the other existed?

That is how the Dubrow family seems to work. There are so many Dubrow family members wandering this country - perhaps the world - and little by little they are finding their way to each other, often by way of this blog.

Alice Gruber Phinzy is the cousin I discovered this way. She is, it turns out, the granddaughter of Ruth Gruber, who is my grandmother's younger sister. Ruthie and Sylvia are the youngest two children of Benjamin and Rose Dubrow, and the only two born in this country. In a stranger coincidence still, Alice knows my hairdresser - not only that, she nannies for her son! The world is a small place.

I recently got an email from Richard Hume, who informed me that he is the grandson of Jacob Solowey, who is the younger brother of "Rasel Soloway Dubrow" - who I know as Rose Dubrow. The woman who married my great grandfather, who started Dubrow's Cafeteria. As he points out, this makes him my second cousin, once removed, but as his family did not see the Dubrow family much, I never even realized Rose HAD siblings. It never occurred to me.

Finally, I also received an email from a man who reports that Irwin Dubrow (manager of Dubrow's, son of George Dubrow, and grandson of Benjamin) was his father's best friend, and they were close family friends until Irwin's death. I am currently negotiating about whether I can share any of their family's stories here, but suffice to say there is a lot more to be learned about my family's history...

As I have said to many people, and probably here on the blog before, the exciting part about this process is watching the connections unfold. I am reading The People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks, which is all about the unfolding of history, layer after layer. That's what this is all about.

Finding old photos and long lost relatives

Marcia Bricker Halperin found this photo in a 1971 high school yearbook. The photographer was uncredited. What a find! Anyone out there attend James Madison High School in Brooklyn, NY?

Meanwhile, Marcia has also received great news - she has gotten a first influx of funding from the Brooklyn Arts Council Community Arts Regrant Program for a documentary about New York cafeterias. She'll cover Dubrow's, and utilize things from this blog, as well as some of the other New York cafeterias that people have recalled fondly over the years I've been running this blog.

Finally, I discovered a long lost relative: Barbara Dubrow Faerman. She's the daughter of Irwin Dubrow, former manager of Dubrow's until his untimely suicide. She writes: "I did go to the cafeteria a few times and some of the old time staff took extra special care of me and showed me around the inner workings of the cafeteria. I remember seeing portraits of Benjamin, George and my father on the wall...I believe that my aunt Helene got some of them when the cafeteria closed. I have a cross stich that was made for me by one of the staff when I was born."

I'm hoping she can find that cross-stitch made by a Dubrow's staff member! I have been in touch with Helene but have not in New York, where she might have some of the memorabilia to which Barbara referred.

"Dubrow's was like an indoor sidewalk cafe"

Found this reference to Dubrow's in the historical novel Subway Music by Reynold Joseph Paul Junker.

"Now I paused and looked left and right again.
'We used to go but I wanted to step around here to the left a minute. I wanted to see something else first. I wanted to see if Dubrow's is still here.'

I turned left. She followed. We walked the short distance to where Dubrow's used to be on the corner of King's Highway.

Dubrow's was gone from the corner of King's Highway. Dubrow's had been a single story cafeteria with floor to ceiling windows looking out over the sidewalk. Dubrow's was like an indoor sidewalk cafe. Families when to Dubrow's to enjoy "home cooking." We went to Dubrow's to stare and make creative faces and simulated retching noises through the windows at families enjoying their "home cooking."

'There used to be a Dubrow's Cafeteria here,' I said.'The firemen from the firehouse on 14th street used to send us there for takeout food - mostly veal cutlet sandwiches. There was no fast food in those days.'"

Still here

Man, it's been a long time since I updated this blog. Sorry about that. It's been a pretty difficult couple months for me personally.

I've received a couple comments from readers I thought I'd share:

Rick Festa writes: "I am Leo Martin's grandson and my memories of Dubrow's are so vivid...The stuffed roasted chicken really stands out in my mind, and have never found a stuffing like that since. I spent many hours there with my Grandfather as a young boy, and i can still remember that special smell of the place. I still remember the faces of the cooks and the cashiers and that cool change returner attached to the side of the register..."

Deborah Berman writes to ask about the recipe for "the most memorable bran muffins in the world." As always, I do not have any recipes - I wish I did! So far I haven't found anyone else who does, either.

Dan Russell writes to ask about a Dubrow's in Bensonhurst and another "famous one on 86th street" - I am not sure both of these he is recalling are Dubrow's, but the latter is probably the one on Eastern Parkway. Anyone remember a Dubrow's in Bensonhurst?

Finally, I also found an excerpt in The World on a Plate by Joel Denker about Dubrow's:

"Cafes also became center of Jewish cooking and companionship. The Garden cafeteria, next door to the Jewish Forward, was a gathering place for reporters, actors, intellectuals, and ethnics who worked in the neighborhood. Like an eastern Europe cafe, it buzzed with conversation and animated debate. Places like the Garden encouraged a breed of ethnic socializers that Isaac Singer, who was one of them, dubbed cafeterianiks.

The Garden, which opened in 1931, was organized like a cafeteria. Customers decided on their order, and the counterman punched the appropriate code on their ticket. There were the classic dairy choices - blintzes, varnishkes, soups. The display case revealed a tantalizing plates of smoked whitefish, herring and apple and other salads, cheese, and coffee cakes. Many diners were content with a piece of cake and tea or a bowl of chopped vegetables and fruit mixed with sour cream.

As the Lower East Side rag trade withered away, Jewish cafeterias and luncheonettes sprang up in the midtown Garment Center. Dubrow's, one of the most famous cafeterias, served up pirogen, gefilte fish, and roast chicken to cutters, jobbers, and pressmen. Irving Moskowitz, a Dubrow's Cafeteria customer for over thirty years, remembered it as a warm gathering place: 'It was more than just a place to eat. It was a meeting place. A place. You didn't get to know them [other customers]. But they were people, and you sort of knew them.'"

Interview with Helene D. Grossman (Part 2)

1. What was your impression of running Dubrow's, for Irwin and for George? Did it seem to bring them joy? Did it seem stressful? Which store(s) did they run and for how long?

"Irwin stepped up to the plate to run Seventh Avenue, and our family’s interests in Eastern Parkway and Florida, after George’s death. He had worked there prior to that but was not at all set on committing to the restaurant business as a career, despite having majored in Hotel and Restaurant Administration at Cornell. I believe his reluctance was due to a number of factors typical of Jewish sons in the 1950’s, including wanting to apply newer management models and other knowledge that they has acquired in college to their family business with their dads not being convinced this was needed and in Irwin’s case, issues relating to the fact that George was somewhat of a legend in the field.

Nonetheless he ran Seventh Avenue, and together with Irving Kaplan acquired Toby’s Cafeterias (3, I think) in Miami in the 1960's, which Irving ran. [Note: Toby’s were in non-Jewish neighborhoods and served Southern style food, with favorites being chicken dumplings and black eye peas.]

In the mid 1960s Irwin opened Dubrow’s Takeout Shop (exact name?), on Third Avenue and 74th Street in Manhattan, which Leonard [Irwin's brother] ran. It offered many packaged, prepared foods for which Dubrows was known but it was just a bit ahead of its time. That area and all around NYC is now filled with that type of prepared food take out shops. Irwin subsequently opened, ran and expanded Alfie's restaurant at that location. Irwin came to enjoy the business more as time went on but differently than George. It was not his whole life to nearly the same extent as it was George’s. Irwin ran the Seventh Avenue cafeteria and Alfies until his death in 1970.

Irving Kaplan and Paul Tobin purchased the Seventh Avenue cafeteria in 1971(?), with Paul running the day to day operation, and Irving’s oversight and active involvement in all management decisions and regular on-site participation about every 6-8 weeks. The property was purchased by the bank adjacent to the cafeteria, which planned to expand/build a garage, and the cafeteria closed. The expansion/garage never went forward and today, an OTB parlor is on this site!"

Interview with Helene D. Grossman (Part 1)

I caught up with my cousin Helene a couple weeks ago, and she graciously took the time to answer some questions about Dubrow's for me, in a somewhat formal written interview. I'll be posting her responses over a series of posts.

Just for reference: Helene is the daughter of George Dubrow, sister of Irwin Dubrow, and granddaughter of Benjamin Dubrow, all of whom managed Dubrow's at different times.

1. What was your impression of running Dubrow's, for Irwin and for George? Did it seem to bring them joy? Did it seem stressful? Which store(s) did they run and for how long?

"For George, Dubrow’s was his life. He loved every aspect of running the “stores”. George had an incredible joie de vivre, was very much a people person and enjoyed interacting with his employees at all levels as well as with his customers. He shared their happinesses, trials and tribulations and lent his ear and advice and often, financial support. I still have a ring that a customer gave him in appreciation of his kindnesses. His measure of quality control was a random tablespoon of prepared foods, especially his favorites, before they left the kitchen…he was a bit rotund and we all thought this was his best excuse not to stick to a diet! He was not a morning person, and usually went to work at around noon, staying until midnight, the exception being most Friday nights, when he came home for dinner, under duress from my mother, usually returning to work after that. George’s personal and business philosophy was that you are only as good as tomorrow, not yesterday. I suspect that fed his drive for success. There certainly were stressful situations at times, particularly dealing with the unions….I think there were 6 or 7. "

She goes on to provide some more detail about George's history at Dubrow's, which I found very helpful:

"George opened and initially ran all of the cafeterias which included Dubrows Eastern Parkway (Utica Avenue), Dubrows Kings Highway ( 16th St), Dubrow's Lincoln Road (Miami Beach), Dubrow's Seventh Avenue (Manhattan) and Dubson's Restaurant (on Utica Avenue around the corner from Dubrows Eastern Parkway Cafeteria). "

Much more to come - about Irwin, about Max Tobin, and more! Stay tuned.

Reader feedback (Danny, GK)

Lately, I've been hearing from a lot of people about the various Dubrow's foods they miss. It's all about the food, which makes sense, since first and foremost, Dubrow's was a restaurant. But if there's one thing we've learned in the past three and a half years I've been keeping this blog, it's that it's so much more.

Danny Karron writes:
"Our (my brother Abe and I) dad Edward Karron was (best?) friends with Irwin Dubrow. My brother and I were ruminating if we could id Irwin from a bunch of wedding pictures Abe had scanned. I found you from the Dubrows Cafeteria wiki entry which pointed to your web site. I'm getting hungry just thinking about the place. I think I still remember the stuffed cabbage or the Blintzes. I'm getting indigestion thinking of them at the same time."

GK commented on an old post:
"My favorite was the cheese blintzes with sour cream. I have never had better. My sister would always get the cottage cheese and sour cream with vegetables. I also loved making lemon soda with the seltzer water dispenser and free lemons from the fish counter."